This past month was hard. It was tear-filled, exhausting, and painful. But from it, I have learned so much about myself and about what I want, and even more about what I don’t want. I know that I don’t want to work in retail forever, and I know that working in retail right now is okay. I’m learning more about how to deal with people than any marketing class could ever teach me.

I also know that I have the capacity to change my right now, and to make my future a series of right nows that are both different and better than today’s right nows. Right now is hard. Right now is confusing. Right now is cold.

So far, this summer is cold. It is wet, and rainy, and cold. While 75% of the country is full of scorching heat and wildfires, Seattle is cold. It is wet. It is drizzling. I want nothing more than to spend my days off at the beaches I used to work at, but the weather hasn’t seen fit to oblige me.

My tattoo, the one I got earlier this year, says petrichor. Petrichor means the smell of dry earth after rain, and I’ve smelled nothing but petrichor this whole summer.

Petrichor is the scent of metamorphosis. The scent of rebirth, and the scent of growth. The scent of change.

And change is what I need most right now.


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